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I always wanted to travel and see the world and see the opportunities it would bring. Also I was rather a unique employee because of my age and maturity. I loved my work and was very committed to my job and a good Rep... later, I’d earn promotion to a manager. This meant I was always on show and had to be available at all times and I did not want any hint of scandal that would undermine my position or authority with my staff. However I felt at times I was treated like royalty , everybody wants to know you , Hotel , restaurant and business owners , wanted your favour and barman and owners would send free drinks your way. I always enjoyed sex, at times my sex drive would go to 11, this started in my teens, when I learned the secret joys of late night masturbation; however I’m not “slapper” and I do not go with just anybody. I was very honest with Peter when we got together about my past sex life, when I met him I told him that I had had many lovers. Peter said he was not surprised. So much of pain Shan, these years I've been battling with demons I never knew existed. So many nights I'd cry myself to sleep just wanting to feel whole, not a shadow. No one could make me feel whole, not boyfriends, not friends, not family. Please don't think you are obligated to do something now I just needed you to know that you give me strength to go on. The strength I need to keep my hopes up that maybe one day I'll find someone else who made me feel that way. I'm sorry if this is too much. I'm sorry I just don't understand what else to do." I cried, the pain sticking in my throat trying to claw its way out with my every word. "This is not me, I am stronger than this. What is wrong with me? Shan I'm sorry! All these years I was waiting for a chance to talk to you, I don't know why I have been waiting for you." I kept crying whilst Shan held me. "Rhea, babygirl it's ok. I'm here for you. I love you Rhea. You are safe. I understand that you just need to be loved, it's ok. You are.
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